Peregraf- Diman Ismail
It was dusk. Sozan was going back home. As she opened the door, she could hear strange sounds. She inched towards the room to check what was going on. The more she approached the room, the louder the sounds emanated. She tiptoed carefully and discovered what she would have never guessed: her husband in bed with another woman.
"I saw my husband’s betrayal with my very own eyes, but I could not do anything. I fear my life can become worse," said Sozan
Sozan is a pseudonym for a 26-year-old woman who resides in the Sulaymaniyah Governorate. She has been married for over eight years, but now she is trapped in a life that has turned into hell. The most painful thing is the fact that the woman with whom her husband betrayed her happens to be a close relative of hers and she had been the one to welcome her in the first place.
"I never thought she would betray me, as she was my relative and my friend, whom I trusted a lot", Sozan could not help but cry as she accounted her despair. She soon moved to address the acquaintance of her husband with the woman.
She had to leave her husband to go for an event last year, as Sozan claimed. The story of her husband’s infidelity started back then. They met several times afterwards. "Even though the meetings increased, I never thought they would betray me."
"I wish I had never gone to the event" said Sozan, the mother of two children. Now she doubts most of her husband’s past.
Fearing the future of her children and society’s gossips, she has loaded all her sufferings in her heart and does not want to sue her husband.
According to the statistics of the General Directorate of Combating Violence against Women, over 9500 women took legal action against domestic violence in the Kurdistan Region in 2018.
Roza, a pseudonym of a 29-year-old woman, told Paragraph: "It has been five months since my husband has had a relationship with my aunt and they betrayed me. I wanted to sue him several times but I did not dare because I am scared of my husband."
According to the statistics of the Kurdistan Region Court Council, out of 40000 marriages, 9192 cases of divorce have been recorded in 2018, with infidelity being one of the reasons.
Solav, another pseudonym, in contrast to Sozan, chose to take legal action as soon as she came to know about her husband’s betrayal. She is 35 years old and she told Paragraph: "He married another woman behind my back. But I could not stand it and divorced him through court."
Even though polygamy is forbidden by law in the Kurdistan Region, 89 cases of polygamy have been recorded in 2018.
Choman Ahmed, a psychiatric researcher, argues that infidelity stems from both party’s disagreement, as well as other factors such as Turkish Dramas.
"TV and foreign dramas have had an adverse impact on family life and many homes have been destroyed."
The researcher believes that infidelity is becoming a common occurrence and "the easiest way of betrayal if via mobile phones and social media." The researcher also commented on the psychological impact, saying: "The constant suffering can cause the victim to develop some psychological problems. It can even reach to a point where they keep thinking of committing suicide."
In the Kurdistan Region, conjugal issues and domestic violence are handled with reference to several laws and infidelity can eventually lead to imprisonment.
Fryad Hidayat, from the office of the Director of General Directorate of Combating Violence against Women in Kalar, explained to Paragraph, "Infidelity punishment is imprisonment from 24 hours to five years. If the infidelity occurs through social media, the imprisonment shall last from six months to three years."
These penalties could not change Sozan’s mind. She has decided to keep her pain to herself and endure the misery for the sake of her children.