Marriage under the family code

The stories of forced marriage in Kurdistan
12-06-2019 11:10


Peregraf- Diman Ismael
 

Parwin was still a teenage girl when she was exposed to severe stress due to her father pressurizing her to get married to a guy without even knowing him before.

"One evening my father came back home with a guy. When the guy left, my father said you have to get married to him because he is a good lad and proposed to marry you several times," Parwin, an alias for the 18-year-old lady, told Peregraf.

Her father’s commands placed Parwin in a tough situation as back then she was only 13 years old. She was only a teenager and had no idea about being a wife and the management of a family.

"It was too difficult for me. I did not love the guy and I refused, for several months I did not agree, so my father started to force me. On top of the psychological pressure hitting me, my father pulled me out of school."

With the passage of time, Parwin felt more and more pressurized. Even her brothers could not dissuade their father and the whole family became a chaos. Parwin, like many other girls, sacrificed herself to calm down the chaos in her family and accepted her father’s commands. 

"I unwillingly acquiesced to the marriage. After one year, I got pregnant. But I had a tough life."

Although the rate of obligatory marriages has decreased compared to previous years,  they have not disappeared completely and still exist in many places in the Kurdistan Region of Iraq.

According to the Kurdistan Region’s Law to Combat Domestic Violence, obligatory marriage is considered as an act of violence.

Dana Ahmed, lawyer, elaborates to Peregraf that the law has two types of punishment for those who force someone to get married, "The first one is financial - with a fine between one million to five million Iraqi Dinar (800-4000 USD), and the second is imprisonment for a period of six years."

Divorce has been the final destination of some of obligatory marriages and has been the cause for many social problems.

Parwin did her best to endure the tough life after marriage, "I left my house to go back to my father’s place several times because my husband hit me." Her harsh life was still ongoing until she divorced her husband when she heard unexpected news about him.

"One day I heard that he got married to a second wife. So I decided to leave him and go back to my father’s house," Parwin says, but her life became even more difficult after the divorce as she is not allowed to see her children despite the continuous pressure from her father.   

Many of these kinds of marriages are arranged by Mullahs, and this is a controversial issue in the Islamic or Sharia law as some of the scholars do not agree with obligatory marriage.

Mohammad Enaiy, a member of the Fatwa committee in the Kurdistan Region told Peregraf "It is said in the Quran that the marriage should be arranged according to an agreement by both sides. Therefore, a marriage in which only one side is agreeable is considered as a crime and is not allowed."

According to the statistics of the Judicial Council of the Kurdistan Region for the past year, more than 3000 marriages were arranged out of the courts، after which the courts have given their approval.

The victimization of girls is not only limited to forced marriages, but also in many other ways. Despite the decreasing rate of some of them- such as arranged marriage, child marriage and exchanging brides (the practice of exchanging brides between two families, where the girl and dowry of one family is exchanged for a girl and dowry from another family.)

Mina, as alias for a 30-year-old woman, is another victim of the Kurdish traditional culture, when she lost her husband, she was forced to get married to her husband’s brother.

"I lived a happy life with my husband for eight years, we had three children. Unfortunately, I lost him in an accident. The loss had worsen my children’s life, therefore I was compelled to get married to my husband’s brother for the sake of my children. I consented to the marriage under the threat of my uncles," Mina told Peregraf.

Forced marriage and other types of Kurdish traditional and cultural marriages have bad and long psychological consequences upon the women. 

Aso Mohammad, social researcher, elaborates to Peregraf that forced marriages leave terrible psychological consequences upon the person, such as isolation and depression. He also stressed that the rate of these types of marriages is decreasing.

The researcher believes that the factors of forced marriage is due to Kurdish traditional culture to a large extent, "Families do not give freedom to the girls to decide about their personal lives. Financial condition might also be a factor in some cases."

Although these types of marriages are illegal according to Kurdistan laws, women do not file suit against anyone even when they are victims.

Parwin, despite everything that happened to her, was not ready to file suit due to her fear of society, "I told myself what would happen to me if a file suit against my father or my family? What would be the reaction of the society?" Parwin is still living amidst all these questions and pains.