The dark side of the Misyar marriage

How do secret marriages take place in Kurdistan?
28-02-2019 10:44

Peregraf- Haval Zangana

Hiwa is married. He pays a visit to his wife once or twice per week. The visits usually take place secretly in the daytime so that his first wife does not become aware of the secret.   

This type of marriage is called "Misyar", in which the husband does not have much responsibilities as compared to the first marriage. All that is needed by the husband is to pay a short visit to the second home.

"A friend of mine spoke to me about this type of marriage, which I was also looking for. After several meetings with a widow, who was an employee with two children, we agreed to get married secretly, without involving court procedures, and this is called the Misyar marriage," Hiwa, 38, told Peregraf.

Misyar is a type of marriage contract between an adult man and woman secretly with the presence of two legal witnesses. The husband and wife thus joined are able to renounce some marital rights such as living together. The wife's rights are limited to housing and maintenance money (Nafaqa), and the husband's rights are restricted to housekeeping and limited access.

Hiwa previously intended to enter a second marriage. However, according to law, he was forbidden to do so, instead he made a Misyar marriage with only five ounce gold for dowry. And now, once or twice per week they have protected sexual intercourse.

After three years, the secret was revealed and his first wife learnt about the second marriage. This has caused some problems for them, to which they have not found any solution yet.

Hiwa is not the only one in the Kurdistan Region to depend on this type of marriage and there are many other cases. Despite the difference in opinions of Islamic scholars regarding this type of marriage, Misyar has caused lots of social issues. Dr. Mohammed Penjweni, a member of Fatwa committee in Sulaimanyah province, clarified to Peregraf "Misyar means a temporary visit; it happens when a woman has not got any financial or housing issues, all she needs is the sexual aspect, therefore, Misyar is a secret marriage which none of the family members of both parties know about."

Islamic scholars have different opinions regarding Misyar; some of them claim that Misyar marriage may be legal but not moral. Others could not decide whether it is Halal or Haram. And others consider it totally Haram.

"The reason behind Misyar marriage lies in preventing widows to remarry by their families, or by the widows’ sons, they do not allow their mothers to remarry," Penjweni said. "As for men, when they are prevented to make second marriage, they go for Misyar."   

According to the law in Kurdistan Region, the second marriage is illegal if the first wife does not give her permission and the man does not have a valid enough reason for it.

"If the couple gets married according to Islamic law, with two legal witnesses, then the marriage is religiously valid. However, it is not a complete marriage and has some flaws, because a marriage should be recognized so that if there’s a child, there will not be any problem." He also asks the courts to be aware of such marriages, so that when they are revealed, they do not cause social problems.

Even though the Misyar marriage has the same legal way as a normal marriage, there’s no specific law or legal clarification regarding this marriage.

Sami Sati, a lawyer, told Peregraf "There’s no statement regarding the Misyar marriage in the Iraqi or Kurdistan personal status law. It is only mentioned that a marriage is a discretionary contract between a man and woman with two legal witnesses. The secret aspect of the marriage, as it is in Misyar, has not been mentioned in the law."

He also clarified if the marriage is revealed, according to the law, it is charged as contracting a second marriage without permission from the first wife, which carries a 10 million Dinar fine and 6 months imprisonment."

The lawyer says that there was a case of Misyar marriage where the husband denied the marriage and the wife could not recognize the witnesses as they were appointed by the husband. Finally, the wife could not prove the marriage had taken place to the court.

"In this type of marriage, the only victim is the wife," the lawyer stated.